Friday, October 8, 2010 11:54 AM, EDT

Sitting at home waiting to head to my appointment for my bladder test and hopefully removal of my catheter.....

Talked to Tori's nurse this morning....they upped her feeds to 4 ML and now will be upping it every 8 hrs (instead of every 12) as long as she continues to tolerate the new volume. In theory that means she will be up to 1/2 ounce of milk an hour by the beginning of the week, which would mean they could possibly cap her PICC line at that time since 1/2 ounce it what she needs to maintain herself (if I understand correctly). She still hasn't pooped without the help of a suppository, but they are hoping that the increased volumes will "force" things into action!

I want everyone to know how much we appreciate the prayers and food. I am completely exhausted by the time we get back home each night, on top of the time at the hospital, the commute is killing me (not that I should complain, many families have to drive much further every day) and knowing the kids are fed is such a weight off both mine and Jay's shoulders. I feel like I have aged a year in the past week.

I broke down on the way home last night.....I had collected some of Tori's memoribilia off her memo board by her crib. One of the things I brought with me was her hat and hospital bracelet from Good Sam that they had removed when she was transferred....I was overwhelmed realizing that she was the only one of my babies that I didn't get to cut their hospital band off of their wrists. Even Brett and William with their NICU stays were never transferred so were released from the hospital with the bands still on.....I don't know why it bothered me so much but it did.

Child Life held their monthly scrapbooking gathering yesterday afternoon, they encouraged me to take an album for Tori and start it.....I found it funny that the one I picked is blue and green, you would think after all the boys, I would have picked pink, but I just loved the print. I can't sit so I didn't do anything but pick out the album and some paper and some special NICU printed sheets they had. I started crying when she told me to come back next month....I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE NEXT MONTH!

We are going to visit Tori after my appointments.....I plan to focus on that to get me through all the tests and such this afternoon! Pray that things go well if you are the praying type!