Sunday, December 11, 2005

Children as accessories

Jay and I went out Christmas shopping last night, in search of the elusive ESPN game center that is the ONLY thing on Cade's Christmas list and a couple of PS2 games that Brett had requested. I had called around to many of the local stores (including all the local Toys R Us) and decided it was best to venture out and see if we could find one. We lucked out on our 3rd stop and found it! Cade is going to be so excited! The christmas shopping is finally on the "downward" slide, more finished than not!

OK, but back to the topic of the post.....after shopping, Jay and I decided to stop and have dinner. Until we were sitting at the bar, I had forgotten that we had ventured into the more affluent neighboring community, that was until I overheard the patrons at one end of the bar. They were greeted by the bartender who made a comment about it being a while since they had been in and then saying "congratulations". It was to this that the woman commented "yeah, she is 3 weeks old and can you believe this is the FIRST time we have managed to leave her?". She made another comment later about the au pair being up with the baby all night the night before. As I watched her chain smoke and down 5 martinis, I found myself thinking how different her attitude towards her child was versus my own. Of course, with my firstborn, I didn't even have a baby at home with me at 3 weeks post partum. I was spending my days standing over an isolette in the newborn intensive care nursery. My parents watched him once in his entire first year of life, other than that, he was with me constantly. Hannah never stayed with anyone until she the day her baby sister was born. Hannah was 2 1/2 at the time. Because I spend so much of my time wtih my kids and with like minded moms, it often doesn't occur to me that many parents chose not to be with their children. Thier children are more accessories, like a nice purse or gorgeous shoes, that "finish" a look, not thier life, their soul, their everything!

We spent a lot of time people watching last night. Woman with silicone breast, beautifully sculpted faces (too bad plastic surgery can't fix hands to hid their true ages)...I wonder what they saw when they looked at me. Did they see a plump, happy woman enjoying her husband's company or could they tell from that often distracted look in my eyes that my thoughts were wandering to the kids at home. Could they sense that we had spent our evening searching out that gift that would make our son's christmas moring special? maybe my babble makes no sense. Maybe I seem self righteous. Maybe I am so full of myself I just can't see things the way they really are. But too often, not across a bar, but in the places I go, I see how people don't put the priority on their kids, that it is on things! I hope. despite my many flaws, that my kids realize that THEY are my biggest priority.


Joanne said...

Hello...I've been reading some blogs over the last month and I enjoy yours! Just wanted to let ya know!
A Day in Our Lives

Laura said...

thanks! I have been a little lax updating lately. Things have been so busy with my dad, the holidays and Emily in the Nutcracker!