Saturday, April 23, 2005

Slow going.....

I know healing isn't an instant thing and everyone keeps warning me I will feel worse before I feel better...but I can't believe what a number this whole thing is doing on me.

All I want to do right now is sleep...of course I am really sore, now it isn't just my right arm, but my back, right knee and I have a horrible headache. I tried to act like things were fine yesterday, I took the kids to the flower show to be interviewed for the newspaper and to be photographed by the show photographers but I just wanted to run away the whole time I was there....Jay took me to the grocery with him but I couldn't even push the cart, I felt almost claustophobic in the store, I just wanted to get out of there...in my rational mind, I know a lot of how I feel emotionally has to do with dealing with my own mortality and the fact that I might have lived but lost one of my children. Jay can't even bring himself to talk about that possibility.

Hannah says her face really hurts and she got really wiped out at dance yesterday. She had to sit during most of her leaps and turns class because her head hurt. Luckily the teacher seemed to understand.

Em seems to be doing OK...she rested most of the day yesterday. She says her knee is tender but not too bad.

Sophie keeps talking about the crash. Other than putting her in the police cruiser to come home, she hasn't been back in a car. It should be interesting to see how she reacts.

Will is more fussy than usual. He is clingy and wants to nurse all the time. Unfortunately the crash (or my lack of eating and drinking after it) has really wrecked havoc on my milk supply. It doesn't help that I can't hold him with my right arm so we have to lay down in bed anytime he wants to nurse! I hate having to have someone else have to pick him up and hand him to me...

On a brighter note....changing poopy diapers and pull-ups is impossible with one arm...I am gladly passing diaper duty off to those more capable! You should hear them complain!

So today is a new day....we shall see what it brings!

6 comments:

Lea said...

I'm so sorry your going through this Laura... I'm continuing to pray

hestiahomeschool said...

I have been so anxious about this. It is normal to feel the way you do feel. That is PTSD....at least, the beginning part of it. It is normal to think compulsively about the accident and talk about it over and over again. It is normal to cry and to be sleepless and also want to sleep. This the body's way of dealing with trauma. Did you see a doctor? Do you need me for anything? I can take the kids places. I can try to nurse Will :-) I am here. I love you all so much. I am still shakingabout how close we came to losing you. I posted the pictures you wanted on my journal...You will probably keep getting more sore for a day or two. I have free passes for a good chiropractor by my house,I can watch the kids and you can go.

Laura said...

I doubt you want to nurse BITER BOY who will BITE his boobs when they don't give him what he wants....He is pretty happy nursing for a bit until the supply isn't there, and then he has been drinking some juice from his sippy cup...his diapers were wet yesterday (as opposed to Fri when his urine output was minimal) so hopefully the milk is building back up. He is bad at night though, wants to nurse every hour or so and then gets MAD that there is no milk and he won't take juice..you know that routine...night time is boob time!

I'll let you know if I need anything!

Laura

Anonymous said...

We will be praying for you all to recover mentally and physically. I am so glad that you all are all doing ok. How terrible that this happened due to such carelessness. Tell Hannah that Amanda is thinking of her and she hopes that she is ok too :) Let us know if we can help in any way.

Tisha

Laura said...

Thanks Tisha....Hannah is still really shaken up over it all. She will be writing to Amanda soon. Any further sitings of the strange man?

Laura

hestiahomeschool said...

We are going through Riesenberg withdrawal symptoms. I am really missing you. How is your life going? How is your dad? My life is settling down. Dave has started sleeping two hours later and has become his old sweet self again. Tabby's scabs are healing...I wanted to invite you over for Shelby's birthday but I see you have a party that day for stamping. It was just cake and ice cream anyway.
Call when you can.
love, Kas