Sunday, May 13, 2007

Invisible pee

One of the things that any family with more than one child who is actively involved in outside activities usually discovers is that the family must often "split up" in order to get everyone to where they need to be. I started driving again last week, less than 3 weeks after my c-section,so Saturday morning we did the typical divide and conquer. Jay dropped Hannah and Emily off at the dance studio and then took Cade to his 10 AM game, Grant and Brett joined him so that they would be with him for the 1 PM game. I got to take Jacob to his game, with Sophia, Will and Luke in tow!

I could go off on a tirade here about how horrible Jacob's team is, well, not the "boys" but the coaching staff. And this week my frustration was compounded by a young, ignorant umpire. Having been around baseball for the past 12 years as a parent and coach's wife, I tend to be fairly aware of the rules and the etiquette of the game, even though I don't always pay attention. It doesn't set well with me when a coach tells a base runner to "run over" the catcher (probably pisses me off more than most since Brett used to catch when he played and Grant is the starting catcher on his team) or when boys are encouraged (by loud cheering) to slide head first into home. The umpire didn't bother to correct the boys or call the "sliders" out (per knothole rules).....oh I forgot,I wasn't going to go off on a tirade....

Back to the point of the of the things I hate the most about most baseball fields is the lack of "modern" bathrooms, meaning at best we usually end up with smelly, overfilled portapotties.....during the second inning(for those of you unfamiliar with baseball that would be about an hour into this game) Sophia and Will decided the had to go to the bathroom. Sophia willing went into the portapotty (amazing since she often refuses, especially when the smell bad) then it was WIll's turn.....newly potty trained (less than a week under his belt!) he INSISTED on taking his pants completely off and then TRIED to stand up and pee in the was too high so then he CLIMBED up and tried standing on the toilet seat.....I am freaking out (inside) as he touches so much of the stinky toilet, but there really isn't anything I can do since I am holding Luke. After about 3 minutes of climbing and maneuvering about he announces....

"I think I just make INVISIBLE PEE in here. I don't like it."

"OK" I am a bit puzzled "So are you done?"

"No" then he shakes his butt a few times "Now I done. My invisible pee when down that hole."

So we get redressed. There is no hand sanitizer or water, what stupid ass man decided that you didn't at least need hand sanitizer next to a portapotty....I insists that we walk all the way back to the van and get baby wipes and hand sanitizer out of the diaper bag. It creeps me out to think of all the germs that his small body encountered on his journey to make invisible pee!

BTW, he managed to wait almost 2 more hours to pee, until we were safely home and he only had to climb around in OUR germs!

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