Dealing with Dad

Just as I do every Tuesday and Thursday, I have to plan my life (and that of my children) around transporting my dad home from dialysis. Now this might not seem like a big deal, actually in theory it seems like a very simple task, but it ISN'T! And quite honestly I am getting a bit sick of it.

Take today for example. Brett was going to go over to his friend, Christopher's, house so that they could work on their physics assignments together. I planned to drop him off around 11:30, go and get dad at noon and then pick Brett back up at 1:30 PM, giving me plenty of time to get my dad settled and fed after dialysis. After picking Brett up at 1:30, we would head to the Loveland Library to pick up Hannah, Emily, Grant, Jacob, Cade and Sophie who where going to attend the 1 PM program they were hosting on Maple Sugaring (Jay dropped them off when he took his lunch break). Sounds like a completely doable plan right? Like I had left myself plenty of time to get everywhere and make everyone happy right? NOT!

So I get Brett to Christopher's right on schedule. I even have enough time to stop at the mall and pick up some perfume Hannah wanted to give her friend Alex for her birthday. I pull into the lot at the dialysis center at 12:10 PM, a few minutes "late" but that shouldn't be a big deal. I walk in and Libby (one of the patient's wives) says that dad is still in the back. I smile and tell her that I have Will in the van and if she could just pull the blinds up when dad comes out. Will had a bit of a snotty nose and I hate to take him in the center when he is sick since so many of the patients have compromised immune systems....Well, I go back to the car, listen to a few songs, clean out some trash (note I said SOME, not ALL) and I keep looking at the window for the shade to move. At 12:40 (a full 1/2 hour after getting there) I walk back in and still no dad...there is NEVER anyone at the desk to ask questions of, so I walk back out the van....sit there 15 more minutes, at this point Will is SCREAMING, he hates his carseat, so I finally unbuckle him and walk back into the center, despite the runny nose. Still no dad! FINALLY at 1 PM the nurse who has walked out to get another patient, says he will be out in a couple of minutes. At 1:10 PM I get him in the van and am heading towards his house. He asks me to get him a burger from Wendy's and asks where the kids are. I tell him and say I have to leave as soon as I get to his house because I have to get them, he gets all weepy......it isn't like I haven't just wasted an hour sitting in a parking lot waiting on him....God forbid I keep him waiting...if he actually gets done on time (noon) and I am not there, he complains the whole way home and then complains to my mom on the phone.....he makes me feel GUILTY for needing to take care of my own kids!

So I give in.....I get him home, into the house, make the rest of his lunch, help him change into his comfortable clothes, tape up all his "tubes", let him eat, get him settled and walk out his door at 1:50 PM. I dash over to get Brett and then make the 20 minute drive to the library. Luckily when I walk in Hannah is looking at books, the kids are behaving and my friend Deanne is still hanging out talking to the naturalist who presented the program. It was nice that she had waited on me to get the kids (although Hannah is prefectly capable of handling them) especially since I hadn't even known that she was going to be at the program.

I know I sound like a total bitch, but damn it when I said I would drive my dad to dialysis 2x a week back in July I NEVER thought I would still be doing it as March rolled in. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy my dad is fighting his cancer and that the dialysis seems to be working, but don't you think that maybe, just once my brother (who works from 4 PM to 11 PM and has NO KIDS) could step in and at least OFFER to pick the man up? It is truely like being an only child, only not being able to reap the benefits (believe me, my brother is the first one over there to get anything FREE!). I know dad appreciates it (despite his complaining if I am not there exactly at noon or if I bring "too many" of the kids with me) but I am feeling very underappreciated! My brother better watch out though...with all the time I have put in with dad, he better not be surprised if he can't "find" me when it comes to dealing with my mom in her old age! ROFL....maybe that would make it all worth it!

So the good thing about having 8 kids....at least they will be able to share the burden of their ailing parents, even if one of them ends up being a complete boob like my brother, there will still be 7 of them to chip in!

And now I am counting the months until Brett has his license...Grandpa duty can be his and I will pay him generously to do it!