Katrina

I just can't put my mind around it. The pictures are unbelievable and I say this as I watch from my cozy house, far away from the destruction (well, unless you count the effect on the gas pumps). I have seen flooding firsthand; I have seen the aftermath of tornados firsthand. I have NEVER seen anything like this.

I spend last night watching the news programs. All those displaced families. I have to wonder, would I have been one of those who packed up and left or would I have thought it was OK to stay and ride out the storm. Where would I be with my 8 children? I have to think we would have left, but would the van have made it? Would we have had the money to put gas into it, on a good day it gets 12 miles to the gallon, how long could I have sat in traffic before the tank would have been empty? Would we have even made it out of the danger zone? If we made it out, would we have had the money for a hotel? Or would we have been among those with no place to go.

What got to me the most was a small segment on a national news program last night. They went into the only still functioning hospital in the hardest hit area. The hospital had evacuated everyone that they could, but the couldn't get the babies in NICU out. They were too fragile, too dependant on technology to keep them alive. They made all the parents leave, only essential personel stayed behind. They talked about how if/when the generators fail and the batteries run out they will have to manual ventilate the babies to keep them alive. They will have to do this at the exact rate that the machine was doing it. They have plastic draped over the isolettes to keep the water from pouring in on the babies. The one doctor commented the only upside is that with no air conditioning, the babies are staying warm.

As a mom who has had 3 babies spend a good portion of their first month of their lives in NICU, I broke into tears. Would I have been able to leave my baby behind? Would I have had to, in order to get my other children to safety? What would I have done, my boobs aching, filled with milk I couldn't get to my baby? Tears stream down my checks at the thought.

I wonder about my dad. How long would he make it without dialysis? They talked this morning on the news of patients who haven't been dialysized since early this week. They say many will die in the next few days. By now dad would have missed two sessions.

I feel helpless. Prayer is my only refuge.